You have to think on your feet when you take your impressionable seven year old to a football match.
Son:What are they singing at Steed Malbranque Dad?
Dad: They are calling him a greedy custard son.
Dad: Because he used to be a favourite player here, and now he has gone to Tottenham for more money, and he eats too many puddings.
Vincenzo's Montella came on. his fourth outing as a sub for Fulham. His sophisticated Italian touches have made him a folk hero here already. A few minutes later he has stuck away a penalty that looks like winning Fulham three points.
A new song goes up around the ground. Only one thing for it, sing an edited version in Andrew's ear as loud as I can.
Montella oh oh oh , Montella oh oh oh
He comes from Italy
He doesn't like Chelsea
(the crowd claimed that Vicenzo harbours a much stronger resentment towards Fulham's nearest neighbours)